Creepy Song Award

I don't understand what passes for music these days (on the radios and top 40 lists, I mean). If a song isn't spotlighting a particularly crunk night in da club, then it's about bitter break-ups and timely make-ups. These songs, even, I can handle. But when it's creepy, stalker material, that's where I draw the line to calling it "music" and more of the disturbed inner workings of the mind put to an admittedly catchy tune.

The Song: Please Don't Go by Mike Posner




The title of the song sounds innocent enough - I mean, he says "please," right? But then you listen to the lyrics and things start to sound .... not okay.

Let's run away from these lies
Back to yesterday, safe tonight

First of all, this doesn't really make much sense. Who's lying? Is it the girl? And if she is lying, why would you want to run away with her? Not too bright, this one.

I feel the sun creeping up like tick tock.

This makes no sense. The sun is not a clock; therefore, it neither ticks nor tocks. You can't just throw around this phrase and expect it to mean something. It's not like we're in a Ke$ha song.

We'll just keep running from tomorrow with our lips locked.

Again, no sense. How are you going to run if you're kissing the girl, Mike? Wouldn't you trip? You'd probably hurt her or yourself and a trip to the hospital wouldn't make for a very romantic getaway if you ask me. Although it would make for a hilarious "reason for visit" explanation.

Baby, please, don't go. If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here?

Should you really be sleeping with this girl if you aren't absolutely certain that she'll be there in the morning? Just a question.

I don't know if you feel the way I do. If you leave, I'm gonna find you.

You doesn't know how she feels, which is understandable (however this brings me back to the question of why are you sleeping with her, then?). But then you take a CREEPY 180, saying "If you leave, I'm gonna find you." You just catapulted from a song about unrequited lust (if we're being honest here) to something that could be evidence in a court case. What are you going to do when you find her? Make her be with you? And then what if she doesn't do it? What are you gonna do - kill her? If she left and ran away, that's probably a clear indication that she doesn't want to be with you.

Baby, please don't go, go, go, go (x3)

Now you're just being confusing, Mikey. "Please" - really? You just threatened to hunt her down if she ever ran away from you or didn't return your feelings, but now you think being nice will work. Like she'll forget what you just said and think, "Oh well he said please so he must be a good guy even though he basically just told me he wouldn't take no for an answer. Of course I'll be with you! Happily Ever After."


Um. No.

And this is what's on the radio infiltrating the minds of impressionable youth. Fabulous.