Confession Time

Hi my name is Olivia, and I spend an egregious amount of time on Etsy.

Not to say I buy everything I love because we all know I would be tripping over vintage suitcases and cufflinks shaped like octupuses... octupi?

But the addiction is there. It's the homemade-handcrafted monkey on my back. And now that I have my job back, I'm only being enabled. I should give in, right? It's all so pretty, and it wants to come home with me! I'm like 82% sure.

Anyway, here are my top favorites of the moment. (Check back with me in an hour for a refreshed list of favorites)

The designer of this headband has it in so many colors and styles. Check out the item's page!

What? Don't judge me.

SO Beautiful!

It's so sad how much I love shoes compared to how infrequently I can find them in my size and how infrequently I can actually afford the pretty ones.

Viva La Polaroid!

I don't pretend to know anything about photography. I leave that to my uber-talented friend and author of Word of Mouth. However, I've always loved polaroids - even the ones me and my sister used to take when we were bored during long summer days.

Here are some stunning examples of beautiful polaroid photography that give me chills!

Florence and the Machine

Some of the best and most innovative music I've heard in years. An absolute must!

English is Stupid

Sometimes, yes, it is.

I don't know who wrote this poem but they certainly got it right.

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

And A Pickle...

"I'll have a club sandwich without tomato, Zapp's chips for my side, and a pickle."

I'll bet this dialogue would strike you as a little strange. So, let's break it down.

"A club sandwich without tomato" - That's normal. Maybe the person just doesn't like round, red fruit.
"Zapp's chips" - Perhaps you haven't yet heard about the deliciousness of the Zapp potato chip. Understandable but not forgivable.
"And a pickle." I'm sorry.... What?

Whenever you order a sandwich, you will most likely have reign over the following areas regarding your sandwich's preparation and presentation: types of ingredients, quantities and quality of ingredients, side items, etc. However, what ALWAYS comes with your sandwich is the one item which is just as often never eaten: the pickle. Not even a whole pickle. It's a fourth of a pickle. If I wanted a pickle quad, I do believe I would have ordered it with my ham sandwich, light mayo.

What's worse: when you try to rid yourself, your plate, and your life from this wretched, unwanted excuse for a side item, no one else wants it either!

I'm waiting for the day I have three other people at lunch with me who have also ordered sandwiches so that I can tape our pickle quads back together and restore the pickle to its former pickle glory (which, surprisingly, for a pickle, isn't that much).

Mrs. Jim Halpert/John Krasinski

In case it's never come up before, I'm going to marry Jim Halpert. Don't know who that is? Well let me tell you. He's the most gorgeous man to grace the planet earth, he's one of the funniest people on television, and I love him. Even though he's engaged, engaged ain't married. Look at his face. Who could not love that face?

Hence, I love him and will be wed to him one fine day.



Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married...
Going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married...
Gee I really love you and we're gonna get married...

We all have them....

Bad dates. Although I don't consider any of my experiences to be "dates," they definitely sucked. And I'm realizing more and more that everybody has them. In fact, I'm anticipating one this weekend at prom. But it'll be a whole lot better than some of these bad dates. The awful things that these people have been through give me the confidence to believe that my experiences will never be that bad. Granted, some of these stories are perpetuated by bad decisions, alcohol, or some combination of the two, but the result is the same: The Very Worst Dates ever.

T Minus 28 Days

As I'm addressing and stuffing and prepping all of my graduation announcements, I'm beginning to realize how quickly the end of high school is approaching. Despite all the crap that I've had to go through to get here, overall, it's been worth it. I'm actually not looking that forward to the day that I will put on my cap and gown, hear my name called, walk across a stage in uncomfortable heels, and relish the diploma in my hands. It sounds like heaven on earth, but I'm actually pretty scared. Especially since I'm not staying at home for college.

So if you are still looking at a few more years in high school or haven't even begun yet, appreciate it while it lasts because it'll be over sooner than you will ever be able to imagine.

And If I Can't Afford It, Then I Guess I'm Gonna Steal It

You've probably heard or at least seen the latest segment of What's Wrong with America Volume 2078, otherwise known as Maury. If not, take a gander at this beauty:



I would say more but..... it speaks for itself.

ROLLER DERBY!!

So ever since I went to the sneak preview of Whip It back in .... some month, I have been completely in love with the whole concept of roller derby. It's so badass! I even have a name picked out and everything, but I know that it's so good that people will want to steal it, so I'm gonna kept it to myself for now :P

Anywho, it's such an amazing sport that most people don't even realize is a sport. Therefore, if you haven't seen the movie, shame on you.

To remedy this problem:

Step 1: Go to your Netflix queue.

Step 2: Put Whip It at the top of your list.

Step 3: Wait anxiously by the mailbox for it to arrive.


In the meantime, enjoy this:

You won't even believe this

Today, my AP European History teacher pulled a dead mole in a ziploc bag out of her purse. She tried to get us to pet it. Who does that?!

AP Exams

I'm under the impression that CollegeBoard is trying to piss me off. I mean, if I'm going to spend 90 dollars each on four of those exams, they can at least give me practice work that I don't have to pay for. I understand that they're "valuable" but paying 25 dollars for a test that everyone has already taken? That's just agitating.

Lolz

I love lolcats. The real ones, I can definitely do with out, but the lol species is so cute! I have a "greatest hits" folder on my computer of all of my favorite lolcats, and I figured they might be appreciated here. Enjoy!

How fairy tales REALLY end

Don't get me wrong... I am a huge fan of the fairy tale. Pretty tiaras and ball gowns were a critical part of my childhood dreams. However, it's nice to have a reality check every once and a while to slap you in the face and say: "Hey, stupid! You have a great life, so be happy."

http://dailyshite.com/2010/03/how-fairy-tales-really-end/

One Month Anniversary....

...Of the last time I posted. Oops!

Anyway, nothing much has really been happening here. However, today marks the day of one of my good friends' birthday, leaving me as the last person in our friend group that is still under 18. This sucks. Especially when you want to go to concerts and things but can't because you're TOO YOUNG. I don't even look my age either, which only adds to my frustration.

But give me a month and a half and I'll have joined the ranks of my fellow legal adults. If only I didn't have to act like one....

Wetness is the Essence of Beauty... So Someone Please Clean Up Gaga

We all know (except for the select and special few) that Zoolander is possibly one of the most quoted movies of all time. I watched it last week, and now I find myself quoting it constantly. And then I start to wonder why... When you take it for what it really is, Zoolander is a pretty stupid movie. Funny, yes. Serious, absolutely not. And yet it's so addictingly funny. My theory is that the reason it's so popular is because it's so stupid. Needless to say, I also apply this theory to the Twilight and Lady Gaga epidemics, two other things I also don't understand, but different from Zoolander I just don't like either one of these. To tell the truth, it scares me a little bit to look at Lady Gaga for more than a millisecond because she makes my spine crawl so much. And to think how much the American population adores her... it's as disturbing as she is.

Semi-Formal, Pseudo-Casual Up-Dos?

So, Winter Formal at my school is next week and I actually found a dress (shock surprise #1) but now I can't figure out how I want to do my hair (shock surprise #2). I don't really love up-dos because I'm always afraid they'll fall out, but they look so pretty! I would also love to do something with braids; however my lack of skill in that department limits the plausibility of that happening. So, considering all of these limitations, I'm thinking I'll go with something like a half up-down do that's kind of messy and maybe have a braid thrown in there somewhere. This should definitely be interesting...

But then again I love the classics (like in the picture), so I really have no idea what I'll do.