Confession Time

Hi my name is Olivia, and I spend an egregious amount of time on Etsy.

Not to say I buy everything I love because we all know I would be tripping over vintage suitcases and cufflinks shaped like octupuses... octupi?

But the addiction is there. It's the homemade-handcrafted monkey on my back. And now that I have my job back, I'm only being enabled. I should give in, right? It's all so pretty, and it wants to come home with me! I'm like 82% sure.

Anyway, here are my top favorites of the moment. (Check back with me in an hour for a refreshed list of favorites)

The designer of this headband has it in so many colors and styles. Check out the item's page!

What? Don't judge me.

SO Beautiful!

It's so sad how much I love shoes compared to how infrequently I can find them in my size and how infrequently I can actually afford the pretty ones.

Viva La Polaroid!

I don't pretend to know anything about photography. I leave that to my uber-talented friend and author of Word of Mouth. However, I've always loved polaroids - even the ones me and my sister used to take when we were bored during long summer days.

Here are some stunning examples of beautiful polaroid photography that give me chills!

Florence and the Machine

Some of the best and most innovative music I've heard in years. An absolute must!

English is Stupid

Sometimes, yes, it is.

I don't know who wrote this poem but they certainly got it right.

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

And A Pickle...

"I'll have a club sandwich without tomato, Zapp's chips for my side, and a pickle."

I'll bet this dialogue would strike you as a little strange. So, let's break it down.

"A club sandwich without tomato" - That's normal. Maybe the person just doesn't like round, red fruit.
"Zapp's chips" - Perhaps you haven't yet heard about the deliciousness of the Zapp potato chip. Understandable but not forgivable.
"And a pickle." I'm sorry.... What?

Whenever you order a sandwich, you will most likely have reign over the following areas regarding your sandwich's preparation and presentation: types of ingredients, quantities and quality of ingredients, side items, etc. However, what ALWAYS comes with your sandwich is the one item which is just as often never eaten: the pickle. Not even a whole pickle. It's a fourth of a pickle. If I wanted a pickle quad, I do believe I would have ordered it with my ham sandwich, light mayo.

What's worse: when you try to rid yourself, your plate, and your life from this wretched, unwanted excuse for a side item, no one else wants it either!

I'm waiting for the day I have three other people at lunch with me who have also ordered sandwiches so that I can tape our pickle quads back together and restore the pickle to its former pickle glory (which, surprisingly, for a pickle, isn't that much).